Do I have any obstacles participating in the community due to my gender?
Well when I think back on my childhood in Lebanon, I was a little Palestinian girl in a middle of a civil war, and when I recall these days I never saw my gender as an issue, in my head I could do what ever I had in mind. When I was looking at the Palestinian and Lebanese women at that time, I was sure that women could do the same thing as men, if not more. They where strong, I saw them as fighters, they where there at the front line with the men, they where raising the children while doing that.
I remember when ever I was talking to the adults around me, they told me that I could be the new Palestinian president, I could create peace in Lebanon, I could free Palestine, there where no limits for what they believed I could do. No one ever told me you are a girl you can’t, they always told me because you are a girl you have to fight for what’s yours, you have to show everybody out there, that girls can reach their dreams. And this idea has followed me ever since, I know I can do what ever I want to do, and if I my dreams are big and seems unrealistic the least I can do is try.
I moved to Denmark and here people was also telling me that I could be what ever I wanted to be, but when I became a teenager things suddenly started to change, people wasn’t looking at me as person, but as a girl, a young women, if I talked to Arabs they where aware of the fact that I was a girl, they sometimes brought it to my attention, when I started talking about my dreams, they always said “an Arab girl, does or doesn’t…” There where some unwritten rules for what an Arab or Muslim girl could do. And when I was talking to Danes, they always though I was oppressed and I always had to prove that I wasn’t oppressed neither by my dad or little brother, just because I’m an Muslim.
Many times I have experienced that people looked at my gender or ethnicity before they actually was looking at my work, and this is not just in my voluntarily life, but also in my professional life, I have chosen an education with almost only men. Some times it was to my favor that I was one of two girl in the class room, the female teachers was always looking out for us, and when ever we needed help, people volunteered to help us, but mostly it was a challenge for us, the guys was always waiting for us to fail, just for them to come and help and save the day, or the teacher asking us if there wasn’t any more spots in beauty school, I don’t have number for how many chauvinist jokes I had to hear, or how many times I heard the same joke about women should know where they belong, and what a terrible terrible mistake it was to let us vote. Before I just got angry or embarrassed, with the years and the constant use of the same jokes I just answer back with a joke or a comment that the jokes are getting pretty old.
I have no doubts that women have a lot of obstacle in both the Middle Eastern and Danish community, but it’s up to us how we choose to handle these obstacles, either we see them as problems that is oppressing us or we see them as challenges, this is a choice we have to make our self’s as women.
- Nivin –
Being Female – is it affecting my future?
The political and academical world is dominatd by men. The norms institutionalized in this sector can be characterized as male values. Should I copy male behavoiur to get a successful career? Or will female valuees begin to be embraced and appreciated with the increased number of highly educated women in society? I believe it’s getting better and that we instead should focus on the more significant inequality-creating factors in Denmark. By this I mean especially specific etnic groups and the poorly educated, who suffer from marginalizing and limited possibilities unrealated to the gender issues.
Elizabeth – Denmark.
Being a woman in Lebanon has more advantages than actually being a man. For an educated and ambitious woman all possibilities and doors are wide open. Whether it is in politics, law, management, banks, NGO´s, education, sports, arts or PR, the Lebanese woman has the best chance to reach their goals if she works for it. The ‘process’ can be even easier and faster if she is beautiful, blonde and has the right connections…
“Ladies first” is best applied in Lebanon - everywhere and anyway. A Lebanese woman knows how to reach the goals, she has the freedom to drive, travel, the get highest and the best education she wishes to have and then the career she wishes. Almost all the women from all classes, ages, economical backgrounds tend to make the best of the situation they are in. Only 7-10% of the Lebanese women are considered surpressed and forced to follow traditional ways of the middle-eastern family and that usually happening in the villages or ghetto towns in South or North Lebanon. Finally, the Lebanese women is usally respected, appreciated and pushed forward by the society.
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Being an Arab girl, I’m confronted with lots of stereotypes and behaviour that pushed me to act. I decided to act by this simple scheme to share what I think with all other girls, but also with those men, that harass me on the street, disrespect me or consider me a different human being with specificity…all those with a sister, mom or daughter. Do men know what they do when they follow a girl on the street saying she’s a beauty or a sexy woman? Do they know that they affect really negatively the life of other people who are just like them going to school or work…? I know that is is not appearing as a big problem for the mayority of men, but you know, if they would just be a girl for just one day and feel the bizarre and weird feeling when they are walking on the street and someone is just making them feel like a sexual object.
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