Do I have any obstacles participating in the community due to my gender?
Well when I think back on my childhood in Lebanon, I was a little Palestinian girl in a middle of a civil war, and when I recall these days I never saw my gender as an issue, in my head I could do what ever I had in mind. When I was looking at the Palestinian and Lebanese women at that time, I was sure that women could do the same thing as men, if not more. They where strong, I saw them as fighters, they where there at the front line with the men, they where raising the children while doing that.
I remember when ever I was talking to the adults around me, they told me that I could be the new Palestinian president, I could create peace in Lebanon, I could free Palestine, there where no limits for what they believed I could do. No one ever told me you are a girl you can’t, they always told me because you are a girl you have to fight for what’s yours, you have to show everybody out there, that girls can reach their dreams. And this idea has followed me ever since, I know I can do what ever I want to do, and if I my dreams are big and seems unrealistic the least I can do is try.
I moved to Denmark and here people was also telling me that I could be what ever I wanted to be, but when I became a teenager things suddenly started to change, people wasn’t looking at me as person, but as a girl, a young women, if I talked to Arabs they where aware of the fact that I was a girl, they sometimes brought it to my attention, when I started talking about my dreams, they always said “an Arab girl, does or doesn’t…” There where some unwritten rules for what an Arab or Muslim girl could do. And when I was talking to Danes, they always though I was oppressed and I always had to prove that I wasn’t oppressed neither by my dad or little brother, just because I’m an Muslim.
Many times I have experienced that people looked at my gender or ethnicity before they actually was looking at my work, and this is not just in my voluntarily life, but also in my professional life, I have chosen an education with almost only men. Some times it was to my favor that I was one of two girl in the class room, the female teachers was always looking out for us, and when ever we needed help, people volunteered to help us, but mostly it was a challenge for us, the guys was always waiting for us to fail, just for them to come and help and save the day, or the teacher asking us if there wasn’t any more spots in beauty school, I don’t have number for how many chauvinist jokes I had to hear, or how many times I heard the same joke about women should know where they belong, and what a terrible terrible mistake it was to let us vote. Before I just got angry or embarrassed, with the years and the constant use of the same jokes I just answer back with a joke or a comment that the jokes are getting pretty old.
I have no doubts that women have a lot of obstacle in both the Middle Eastern and Danish community, but it’s up to us how we choose to handle these obstacles, either we see them as problems that is oppressing us or we see them as challenges, this is a choice we have to make our self’s as women.
- Nivin –
Being Female – is it affecting my future?
The political and academical world is dominatd by men. The norms institutionalized in this sector can be characterized as male values. Should I copy male behavoiur to get a successful career? Or will female valuees begin to be embraced and appreciated with the increased number of highly educated women in society? I believe it’s getting better and that we instead should focus on the more significant inequality-creating factors in Denmark. By this I mean especially specific etnic groups and the poorly educated, who suffer from marginalizing and limited possibilities unrealated to the gender issues.
Elizabeth – Denmark.
Being a woman in Lebanon has more advantages than actually being a man. For an educated and ambitious woman all possibilities and doors are wide open. Whether it is in politics, law, management, banks, NGO´s, education, sports, arts or PR, the Lebanese woman has the best chance to reach their goals if she works for it. The ‘process’ can be even easier and faster if she is beautiful, blonde and has the right connections…
“Ladies first” is best applied in Lebanon - everywhere and anyway. A Lebanese woman knows how to reach the goals, she has the freedom to drive, travel, the get highest and the best education she wishes to have and then the career she wishes. Almost all the women from all classes, ages, economical backgrounds tend to make the best of the situation they are in. Only 7-10% of the Lebanese women are considered surpressed and forced to follow traditional ways of the middle-eastern family and that usually happening in the villages or ghetto towns in South or North Lebanon. Finally, the Lebanese women is usally respected, appreciated and pushed forward by the society.
--
Being an Arab girl, I’m confronted with lots of stereotypes and behaviour that pushed me to act. I decided to act by this simple scheme to share what I think with all other girls, but also with those men, that harass me on the street, disrespect me or consider me a different human being with specificity…all those with a sister, mom or daughter. Do men know what they do when they follow a girl on the street saying she’s a beauty or a sexy woman? Do they know that they affect really negatively the life of other people who are just like them going to school or work…? I know that is is not appearing as a big problem for the mayority of men, but you know, if they would just be a girl for just one day and feel the bizarre and weird feeling when they are walking on the street and someone is just making them feel like a sexual object.
--
12.17.2009
Gender on the Agenda # 4
Young wo/men write about gender roles in the Middle East and Denmark:
I want to be the new hero
I want to be the best role model
I want to be a great front figure
But…
What do you want with me?
You want me to be at home
You want me to multitask, but not on the street. Inside the closed doors so nobody can see me and my power
But…
I am smart, so I’m not listing to what you say about me. The things you say that I can’t. Instead I’m doing what my instinct tells me!
I will, I can, and I’m doing what every woman should do. I am the voice of the future
---
As an Egyptian girl I have always been a little different from other girls as the same age. I have always thought of being independent from my family and living on my own. I have always wanted to take responsibility of myself and to be free of the traditions and away from social dogmaes that claim that the girls place is her home.
I have been a little lucky as my family supported me in pursuing my professional career and professional dreams. But as a girl my gender still constitutes on decide to me in continuing to pursue my dreams of being independent and living on my own as my parents, even though open minded does not approve of it neither does the rest of the family or society. This is because it is not really acceptable to see a girl living alone in general.
I like to talk about a challenge of inherited culture which includes several bad habits deal with women as human being of less right and not equal with men (Duality of standards). The wrong explanation of religion which puts women in a lower degree than men. Some association in government sector and private sector distinguish between men and women in employing and salaries. The wrong point of view which says: “women must stay at home to take care of house, children and forbids them to work outside home”.
- Wedad - Egypt
My dream is to see gender equality and freedom of speech implemented all over the world in general and in the Arab countries in particular. As a young women living in an Arab country it was really difficult to work as a women’s rights activist, especially as I have a feminist background, so it was difficult for me to express myself, run for women´s rights because if I did that, I would be criticized by the all society.
So I feel that I am responsible for that too and to realize my dream I have to take an action. So I hope I can establish a data base and networking for young women. Women who are concerned about women’s rights and gender equality, women who are active, and women who are interested in joining the network to support each other as well as exchange their experiences.
- Nihal - Egypt
First of all I am a human being and if I have some goals I’ll work on achieving them. Life always comes with obstacles whether you are a man or a woman. I think that if we rise above the gender issue and become qualifies aware and educated we can reach much more than we are aware of. I realize that women in the Middle East are facing more obstacles in their way to their goal, but I believe that if you really want to achieve a goal and work hard for it can become a reality. Obstacles are there to overcome. The knowledge we get from this will make us stronger as human beings.
So I see many strong women, which makes me confident that women are made of certain strength. So obstacles or no obstacles women can do a lot of great things. The key word is to believe in your self. Because if you don’t believe in your self who should?
So to all women - keep fighting for your dreams- not because you are women but because you are human beings that have a lot to give the world.
- Louise - Denmark
I want to be the new hero
I want to be the best role model
I want to be a great front figure
But…
What do you want with me?
You want me to be at home
You want me to multitask, but not on the street. Inside the closed doors so nobody can see me and my power
But…
I am smart, so I’m not listing to what you say about me. The things you say that I can’t. Instead I’m doing what my instinct tells me!
I will, I can, and I’m doing what every woman should do. I am the voice of the future
---
As an Egyptian girl I have always been a little different from other girls as the same age. I have always thought of being independent from my family and living on my own. I have always wanted to take responsibility of myself and to be free of the traditions and away from social dogmaes that claim that the girls place is her home.
I have been a little lucky as my family supported me in pursuing my professional career and professional dreams. But as a girl my gender still constitutes on decide to me in continuing to pursue my dreams of being independent and living on my own as my parents, even though open minded does not approve of it neither does the rest of the family or society. This is because it is not really acceptable to see a girl living alone in general.
I like to talk about a challenge of inherited culture which includes several bad habits deal with women as human being of less right and not equal with men (Duality of standards). The wrong explanation of religion which puts women in a lower degree than men. Some association in government sector and private sector distinguish between men and women in employing and salaries. The wrong point of view which says: “women must stay at home to take care of house, children and forbids them to work outside home”.
- Wedad - Egypt
My dream is to see gender equality and freedom of speech implemented all over the world in general and in the Arab countries in particular. As a young women living in an Arab country it was really difficult to work as a women’s rights activist, especially as I have a feminist background, so it was difficult for me to express myself, run for women´s rights because if I did that, I would be criticized by the all society.
So I feel that I am responsible for that too and to realize my dream I have to take an action. So I hope I can establish a data base and networking for young women. Women who are concerned about women’s rights and gender equality, women who are active, and women who are interested in joining the network to support each other as well as exchange their experiences.
- Nihal - Egypt
First of all I am a human being and if I have some goals I’ll work on achieving them. Life always comes with obstacles whether you are a man or a woman. I think that if we rise above the gender issue and become qualifies aware and educated we can reach much more than we are aware of. I realize that women in the Middle East are facing more obstacles in their way to their goal, but I believe that if you really want to achieve a goal and work hard for it can become a reality. Obstacles are there to overcome. The knowledge we get from this will make us stronger as human beings.
So I see many strong women, which makes me confident that women are made of certain strength. So obstacles or no obstacles women can do a lot of great things. The key word is to believe in your self. Because if you don’t believe in your self who should?
So to all women - keep fighting for your dreams- not because you are women but because you are human beings that have a lot to give the world.
- Louise - Denmark
12.14.2009
Gender on the Agenda # 3
In Egypt, although at first people will think that men have nothing that affects their ability to participate in society, one has to stop and reflect again. In a society where demands of marriage are huge financially and men are the only ones who is expected to fulfil these demands, time to volunteer and be civically engaged is very hard to find. As many male volunteers leave the country to find employment opportunities in the Gulf area or some European countries, especially those who live in rural areas. Therefore, as a man in Egypt, where there are huge financial expectations, volunteering seems the least of his priorities.
If men are to find a place in engagement opportunities in the society, gender roles have to be re-negotiated and challenged.
Shaheer George, Egypt
It’s time to decide!
I’m in the middle of the process of making a decision - should I go to the job interview or not? A lot is for but I also find some points against it. During my kind of “rational choice” decission process, I face a truth. That my decision is not mainly about whether to go or not to go, but it’s actually a choice between the coice of being 2 victims or being a powerful human being. If I choose to be a victim, I can skip the job interview – justified with a known and often accepted excuse – I’m a woman (and men are always a priority in those jobs, so why even try?). Or I could choose to tryst my skills and myself in general, and be powerful. Instead of reproducing the discourse and thoughts and assumptions of women and accepting the existence of and the influcence of gender role in achieving my goals, my dreams. I prefer not only to tag myself as a “woman” and reduce myself to a gender, to be the victim is the easy solution, I could tag myself with other victim–tags too – “I’m a Muslim, from an etchnic minority, I am young, from a small town, from a middle class family, uneducated parents etc. etc.” So what? Ofcourse I face the reality too. Yes, there are tendencies in society which can be interpreted as if gender has an influence concerning the chances to achieve a dream. But despite this, we at the same time see an increasing amount of succesful women – they could somehow! Ergo, it is possible!
To be a woman is not an excuse- we should not talk about women’s rights, but human rights! No one can take out dream from us. If Kolena Laila didn’t raise her voice she didn’t have the right to complain! We should raise our voices, make our demands, fall down and stand up again. I invite everyone to do so, not only women. It’s time to make the decision!
-Ayse, Denmark
If men are to find a place in engagement opportunities in the society, gender roles have to be re-negotiated and challenged.
Shaheer George, Egypt
It’s time to decide!
I’m in the middle of the process of making a decision - should I go to the job interview or not? A lot is for but I also find some points against it. During my kind of “rational choice” decission process, I face a truth. That my decision is not mainly about whether to go or not to go, but it’s actually a choice between the coice of being 2 victims or being a powerful human being. If I choose to be a victim, I can skip the job interview – justified with a known and often accepted excuse – I’m a woman (and men are always a priority in those jobs, so why even try?). Or I could choose to tryst my skills and myself in general, and be powerful. Instead of reproducing the discourse and thoughts and assumptions of women and accepting the existence of and the influcence of gender role in achieving my goals, my dreams. I prefer not only to tag myself as a “woman” and reduce myself to a gender, to be the victim is the easy solution, I could tag myself with other victim–tags too – “I’m a Muslim, from an etchnic minority, I am young, from a small town, from a middle class family, uneducated parents etc. etc.” So what? Ofcourse I face the reality too. Yes, there are tendencies in society which can be interpreted as if gender has an influence concerning the chances to achieve a dream. But despite this, we at the same time see an increasing amount of succesful women – they could somehow! Ergo, it is possible!
To be a woman is not an excuse- we should not talk about women’s rights, but human rights! No one can take out dream from us. If Kolena Laila didn’t raise her voice she didn’t have the right to complain! We should raise our voices, make our demands, fall down and stand up again. I invite everyone to do so, not only women. It’s time to make the decision!
-Ayse, Denmark
11.25.2009
Gender on the Agenda #2
Ass kicking Afro women
So what I’m African!?!
So what I’m Muslim!?!
So what I’m a woman!?!
- I’m a human being so just deal with it!
Being a woman doesn’t mean that I can’t express myself. I express myself 24/7 – 365 days a year.
Why shouldn’t I have that right?
I express myself in the clothes I wear, through the things I do and the choices I make. I speak my mind, grab my pen and say what’s on my mind. Even though I’m suppose to be the weaker gender I’m just me.
By Ayan Mouhoumed
Chief editor Ethniqa Magazine
•
As a male I don’t have any obstacles in the society I live in – and that’s the sad thing that there is so much difference between genders in the way they are treated. Even though I live in Europe I still face those problems such as girls are not allowed to do so much as I am. Actually I could have said this in one sentence “I am male”. All my dreams are available and that’s the sad thing about it.
By Mohamad Ibrahim
•
G.E.N.D.E.R
Gender? The first word that pops up in my mind is Equality, which means that I think about gender as equal rights between men and women. Gender is also Norms, social norms. What is expected from me as a woman? Sometimes I feel ashamed to give into their norms. Like it is a sign of submission to gender roles when I think of myself as ‘pretty’ or ‘sexy’. But I like to thing that gender is about Difference in interaction. I expect women to understand me, not men. Gender is Expectations influencing my Reality.
•
As a female, limits were made by my family regarding my dreams and passion.
It effects my choices in my life like what to study, what to wear and who I will choose as a life mate (husband).
It also has a big impact on my personality, independence and on the type of my daily activities and hobbies.
These issues related to my gender as a girl effect me in achieving my goals.
By Hanadi Alqaryoati.
So what I’m African!?!
So what I’m Muslim!?!
So what I’m a woman!?!
- I’m a human being so just deal with it!
Being a woman doesn’t mean that I can’t express myself. I express myself 24/7 – 365 days a year.
Why shouldn’t I have that right?
I express myself in the clothes I wear, through the things I do and the choices I make. I speak my mind, grab my pen and say what’s on my mind. Even though I’m suppose to be the weaker gender I’m just me.
By Ayan Mouhoumed
Chief editor Ethniqa Magazine
•
As a male I don’t have any obstacles in the society I live in – and that’s the sad thing that there is so much difference between genders in the way they are treated. Even though I live in Europe I still face those problems such as girls are not allowed to do so much as I am. Actually I could have said this in one sentence “I am male”. All my dreams are available and that’s the sad thing about it.
By Mohamad Ibrahim
•
G.E.N.D.E.R
Gender? The first word that pops up in my mind is Equality, which means that I think about gender as equal rights between men and women. Gender is also Norms, social norms. What is expected from me as a woman? Sometimes I feel ashamed to give into their norms. Like it is a sign of submission to gender roles when I think of myself as ‘pretty’ or ‘sexy’. But I like to thing that gender is about Difference in interaction. I expect women to understand me, not men. Gender is Expectations influencing my Reality.
•
As a female, limits were made by my family regarding my dreams and passion.
It effects my choices in my life like what to study, what to wear and who I will choose as a life mate (husband).
It also has a big impact on my personality, independence and on the type of my daily activities and hobbies.
These issues related to my gender as a girl effect me in achieving my goals.
By Hanadi Alqaryoati.
Gender on the Agenda #1
Young wo/men write about their concerns of their gender when participating in the civil society they live in:
1)
….Sometimes I catch myself in thinking of how my life would have been like if I was born as a boy instead of a girl. But then I tell myself that being a man might be easier than being a woman – at least here in the Middle East! So being a woman might actually be my driving factor for actively taking part in civil society, for engaging in organizations and so on………….maybe
….Big issues give rise to big responsibilities. But where to begin?? If I have to count the problems of my gender, then I have to be really positive-thinking at the same time because elsewhere I would just give up….at least here in the Middle East.
Maybe I should start with encouraging women to educate themselves? Or what about working against early marriages? Or starting a project fighting against violence against women.
…..But sometimes I catch myself in thinking that getting married with an average guy and getting children and just stop worrying would be so much easier than all that volunteering stuff…..At least here in the Middle East!
But that’s just how I am.
I never chose the easy opportunity. And maybe that is why I would never choose to be a man if I could….because that is the easy solution….. At least here in the Middle East.
So strange and yet so fascinating! So many differences due to an X instead of a Y chromosome.
-Anonymous author
1)
….Sometimes I catch myself in thinking of how my life would have been like if I was born as a boy instead of a girl. But then I tell myself that being a man might be easier than being a woman – at least here in the Middle East! So being a woman might actually be my driving factor for actively taking part in civil society, for engaging in organizations and so on………….maybe
….Big issues give rise to big responsibilities. But where to begin?? If I have to count the problems of my gender, then I have to be really positive-thinking at the same time because elsewhere I would just give up….at least here in the Middle East.
Maybe I should start with encouraging women to educate themselves? Or what about working against early marriages? Or starting a project fighting against violence against women.
…..But sometimes I catch myself in thinking that getting married with an average guy and getting children and just stop worrying would be so much easier than all that volunteering stuff…..At least here in the Middle East!
But that’s just how I am.
I never chose the easy opportunity. And maybe that is why I would never choose to be a man if I could….because that is the easy solution….. At least here in the Middle East.
So strange and yet so fascinating! So many differences due to an X instead of a Y chromosome.
-Anonymous author
11.05.2009
The first post: welcome!
Hello world
I guess this is the way many new bloggers greet when creating they blog.
Hello world – Hello Middle East – Hello you there….
I started this blog on with 3 purposes in mind:
1) To have a space where we can share thoughts, worries, ideas & experiences
2) To give each other and others an insight to the situation of the world and
especially the Middle East seen from a young point of view
3) To have a space where we can speak out!
The blog is for small thoughts – and for longer articles. For any text. And/or picture.
The blog welcomes statements and political input put if you go personal and cross the line I will delete your post.
The blog is in English.
The blog is yours. It is for everybody – for you and me and somebody else also.
Just write me and I will add you to the authors list.
I hope you will embrace this and circulate the blog to interesting and interested people.
/Camilla
I guess this is the way many new bloggers greet when creating they blog.
Hello world – Hello Middle East – Hello you there….
I started this blog on with 3 purposes in mind:
1) To have a space where we can share thoughts, worries, ideas & experiences
2) To give each other and others an insight to the situation of the world and
especially the Middle East seen from a young point of view
3) To have a space where we can speak out!
The blog is for small thoughts – and for longer articles. For any text. And/or picture.
The blog welcomes statements and political input put if you go personal and cross the line I will delete your post.
The blog is in English.
The blog is yours. It is for everybody – for you and me and somebody else also.
Just write me and I will add you to the authors list.
I hope you will embrace this and circulate the blog to interesting and interested people.
/Camilla
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